Ok, well- yes. I struggled with wanting all.the.dresses! Pop up clothing parties, and thrift stores called out to me week after week.
But a special mix of stubborn will, encouragement/accountability from family/friends and ultimately the Holy Spirit's gentle care I've kept from buying anything new. Toss in some lessons in identity learned and a gifted to me pair of black leggings and I was sitting pretty pleased. (with myself)
What's the saying based on Proverbs 16:18? Pride goeth before the fall?
"So...you aren't buying clothes this year... but you bought a house?!?"commented my co-worker late this summer. I remember feeling somewhat defensive to his comment. Was he actually suggesting that I bought a whole giant house to fill the gaping shopping hole I created for myself?
The nerve! Didn't he know I was knocking this thing out of the park?
Well, as the Lord would have it - we did buy a new (to us) home. Shortly after my last post, we offered on a house, prepared, listed, & sold our home. Closed the deals on both houses....moved out and moved in all within about 6 weeks.
The chaotic stress just about did me in, but folks. I survived. Now, looking back during that time, an underlying theme was taking shape.
Suddenly, I had a new house to design, fill, and decorate.
My shopping license had been re-issued! I could buy stuff once again.
Going to HomeGoods never felt so good!
Who needs new clothes when you can buy a brand new washer and dryer? Or an antique dresser or coordinating storage baskets? and for reals... every new home needs a shiny new coffee pot and fresh throw pillows!
There was a moment or two along my purchasing way when I took pause and I realized that two whole months went by in a blink! And wouldn't you know... I didn't give two hoots that I had been wearing the same oversized sweatshirt, yoga pants and flip flops for daayys on end. (more on my extremely poor fashion in an upcoming post)
Besides, all of my new candles took care of any smell I may have emitted.
What changed? Did I suddenly not care about clothing any more? Had I truly arrived?
Something larger was revealed to me during the last few months. Perhaps my struggle isn't just with contentment, but with consumerism. I'd dare say those two things walk hand in hand like co-dependent lovers.
When we have a void in our lives, do we let it sit as is?
Uncomfortable and raw.
OR
Do we (knowingly or not) find a way to fill what's missing? so the yearning stops and our souls seem to center.
I suppose my co-worker was just making light of my purchasing irony. Obviously, we didn't buy a new house because it was all I was "allowed" to do. But. I am fairly sure that buying new rugs and wall decor filled the shopping void, and detoured me from center.
Important things to think about as I near full on purchasing power come January.
14 But as for you, continue in what you have learned and have become convinced of, because you know those from whom you learned it, 15 and how from infancy you have known the Holy Scriptures, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus. --2 Timothy 3:14-15
