It's gotta be the shoes.

While sitting in the shoe store a month ago,  mesmerized by the brilliant wall of colorful running shoes I felt I was in a familiar place.  No,  the store wasn't  familiar for it was my first time shopping there, rather what felt familiar  was what was going on in my head.  I sat and thought as I waited for the sales person to hop over with that weird shoe trying on ramp.  I sat and thought...

Today isn't the first time I purposed to become athletic.
Today isn't the first time I wanted to be part of the team.
Today will not be the the first time vanity took victory...

Stroll backward with me...
As I was a budding young junior-higher I decided that sports would be my thing.   After all,  thanks to my genetics I was taller than most and I had a father who excelled in most sports as evidenced by the scrapbooks and photo albums my Grandmother so lovingly assembled.   Being a Hopkins was nearly synonymous with being an athlete.

Atheticism... Check!
Making the Basketball team... Check!  (did I mention there were not cuts at my school?)
Looking good while playing sport... Almost check.

I needed Basketball shoes.   I concocted the belief that whatever sport I played in my Jr. High career needed the appropriate shoe.   No run of the mill MTA Pro tennis shoe would do.   I needed legit Basketball shoes!   There was one girl who was leaps and bounds more talented than anyone in a decade at Moline Chr. school.   She wore Nike Air Basketball shoes.    I needed Nike Air Basketball shoes!
Knowing me as they did,  My financially unstable yet generous and loving parents sprung for this exact pair:

With my Basketball shoes securely fastened I was ready for a season of layups, free throws and Wins!
The truth was my small school was known much more for its farm fresh smell than dominance on the courts.   The truth was I just couldn't get that jump shot right.
Ever.
But,  you know what?

I didn't care one bit that we lost nearly every game!
I had the shoes!
I was part of a team!
I looked good (or so I thought) running up and down the court with my hair in my eyes.   (far be it from me to wear my hair in a ponytail for the games-- I looked hideous that way , or so I thought)


Back to present day.
A little history on what brought me shoe shopping.   I have come to a point in my mid-ish 30s where a realization hit me.    No more pregnancies,   no more excuses.   It is time to get in shape.   For health,  for energy,  for life!   I had purpose.

Another inspiration are two of my girlfriends that have been running for some time now.   They talk of things like treadmills,  workouts, and 5ks.   It intrigued me.   I wanted in.   I wanted to be on Team Running!

So, one day I found myself at the aforementioned wall of running shoes.  The sales girl fitted me with the most amazing pair of pink Nike Zoom Structure + Triax 15 running shoes.    

I felt as great as these pink shoes look!  The pink shoes made my size 10s look positively dainty!  

It was an amazing trifecta!  

Atheleticism was on the horizon.
I was about to become member of the running gang.
I had THE shoes.


What followed that high was an unwelcome discoveries.    12 years of birthing and babies does not a runner make.   The amazing pink shoes were not so amazing as they squished to my toes into a state of numb.    How could this be?   They look so good!  The Couch to 5k program was about to go go back to the couch.

I was told to head back to the shoe store.    With a proper re-fitting I was offered a slim selection of shoes that only a cheapskate with a wide foot and mild to moderate over pronation could love.

They certainly weren't pink.  Defeated and disillusioned ,  I made the exchange at the register and the sales girl offered up one last sales pitch/life lesson.

She said and I quote:
"You're just going to have to get over the fact that they are not pink."

"The nerve!"  I thought as I scanned the parking lot for my minivan.

As I talked to my husband about the incident I began to see the truth amongst all the silliness that was I was creating.   If I want to get healthy,  and accomplish this running goal (a 5k with my friends)  I needed to let vanity lose,  and lose hard.

There are so, so many lessons I am learning through this process.   One of which is taught so beautifully in the following scripture...

 

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us.  

 Hebrews 12:1 

False identity,  vanity,  materialism.  May I be stripped of these weights and run the race.