this is the stuff

I like things the way I like them.

Don't we all?

When you (or me in this case) are faced with something that's downright unlikable,  what is the virtuous response?

I have spent the better part of two weeks getting way ahead of myself and working myself into a tizzy.   Yes,  I just said tizzy.    Making something way too big in my life and letting it push most everything good out of the way.    The specifics of what that was I won't go into because that's not really important, and in the big picture of life---  it wasn't a huge problem.

That is precisely what irks me the most.   When did I dive into shallow waters again?   When or why did I start letting an irritation turn into an infected wound?

When our unborn baby died last year my eyes were opened to the significance (or the insignificance) of stresses in life.    What really matters, and frankly,  what does not.     I welcomed that new perspective,  considered it one of the results of enduring that painful loss.    In the recent past I've lost that perspective.   So now,  kicking myself (which incidentally I seem to be doing a lot lately) I need  to grab it back.

What is important is what I am trying to learn from it.  I have to record this lesson learned,  or I am likely to forget it the next time things don't go my way. 

 My old method of coping:

Get upset.

Talk about it until I am blue in the face and people want to punch me.

Figure out how to manipulate change the situation

Perhaps cry,  but that might be too soft and sensitive this early in the problem

Generally assume a bad attitude.

Resist acceptance.

New plan.   When stuff drives me crazy I have the power of choice. 

Looking anew at the debacle (and future difficulties)  I find myself in, 
I will choose to:

Stay calm.

Pray about it,  asking God for clarity and direction.

Do not try to change manipulate the situation

Cry,   if needed.   A little crying is good for the heart.

Have patience.

Resolve to accept.

This is the stuff that drives me crazy
This is the stuff that's getting to me lately
In the middle of my little mess
I forget how big I'm blessed
This is the stuff that gets under my skin
But I gotta trust You know exactly what You're doing
It might not be what I would choose
But this is the stuff You use                                ---Fransecsa Battistelli