"to the joy that's coming"

If there was ever a song that I worked hard on me last summer it was Before The Morning by Josh Wilson.  

Last week Joy and I were cruisin' around town in the mini-van and she began to talk about April.    Joy has kept April a part of our daily lives through conversations, questions and drawings.   So many times I have been struck by what a healing gift that has been.  Numerous times she has asked me just how small her head was, and if she can look at the hospital momentos.   She lovingly opens the box and carefully examines each article.   Joy is not a procrastinator and she keeps wondering why I have yet to compile the momentos and display them in the shadow box that I bought last fall.   She has convicted me to work on it, amongst other things that I really want do to honor April's memory before I am all to consumed with my post-pregnancy life.

So, back to the song.   There is a phrase in the song that sings like this:

Would dare you, would you dare, to believe,
that you still have a reason to sing,
'cause the pain you've been feeling,
can't compare to the joy that's coming

If you know Joy and I (and my mom for that matter)  we are always humming or singing a tune that it is our heads.  On that particular day in the van I was singing the above lyrics.   Joy said to me,

"Mom,  I know what that means... "to the joy that's coming"
I replied, "What do you think?"
She said "When the new baby comes!"

And for the short term,  she is right.  The baby is absolutely a joy that's coming!   But there in that moment I wanted to tell her all the more reasons that joy is coming--One Glorious Day!   I tried, and as my kids often do,  she bolted to the next topic as quick as her mind would go.   One of the legacies, if you will,  that April's short life leaves in our family is that she opened our children's minds door to Heaven.   For that I thank my Heavenly Father.

There is so much that her 7 year old self just gets, you know?  I am amazed at how God works in her heart and how she so easily expresses herself.   Sometimes too easily when it comes to her opinions,  wants or displeasure.   She is my firstborn girl and it blesses me to know that she will carry April with her throughout her life.   What God has given me is a special someone that will keep all of the physical and mental memories for me someday when I have gone on.    She is truly a Joy !!

If you care to check it.... Here is  a short story about the inspiration for this song.  Great Story!

And finally,  a few pix of Joy and I on today.. our shared BIRTHDAY!!!