The road to restored joy is full of potholes.

I suppose I wouldn't do the previous post justice without trying to describe God's hand in how I got here.

To be honest, well, I don't fully know.   God's ways are deep and mysterious.

Something I do know is that  I have held tight to a promise from the Bible.   From what I understand it is a promise that Jesus speaks to His disciples prior to His death and ressurection.

I tell you the truth, you will weep and mourn while the world rejoices. You will grieve, but your grief will turn to joy. 

John 16:20 NIV

The world would rejoice while Jesus was crucified, and the disciples would grieve.  But... their grief did turn to joy as Jesus so gloriously arose.

I know that others don't rejoice in our pain,  but the devastating fact is that our pain is primarily-- our pain.  I can't expect the folks around me to pause their lives until I can catch up with them and join their joyful existence. 
To put it another way... while others' lives are moving along at the pace of summer,  ours meanders on at more of a snail's pace while we grieve. 

In the midst of this I fully believe that God will turn our grief to joy.   The daily challenge for me is surrendering my will and what I think God should do to dissolve my grief.

Holding onto this promise is only a part of what has sustained me in the last 11 weeks.   As I will list below,  in both small and large ways there has been sustenance.

If you've read this blog for awhile,  you know I like to make lists.    Identifying these things shows me God's hand in it all!

A phenomenal family physician.

Listening ears.

Music.  Specific songs at very specific times.  Ask me sometime, I'll tell you about it :)

This book--> I Will Carry You by Angie Smith

My small group ladies

Busy, Busy, Busy!!   Having 4 kids in the summer does not allow much time for downward spirals.

Writing a letter to our daughter

So I continue on this road,  this summer with all of its figurative (and literal !) potholes.
Although sometimes I feel disoriented and that I may have missed a red light or two,  my destination is sure and I will arrive there in God's timing.