Friday, August 03, 2007

a fine line.


As my kiddos are growing at the speed of light, new, challenging, and often times scary situations are presented to them.

Tuesday we were at the cottage encouraging Chase to try waterskiing again. He had quite a discouraging fall a few weeks back that I thought would end his ambitions.

I have always liked observing the way my children and those of others take on new tasks. Some kids don't need a bit of arm twisting, they are ready to try something new, they are daredevils with no fear. Others refuse, kick and scream, cannot be forced to try something they fear.

My father has taught many a child, teenager, adult how to waterski and finds extreme delight in watching someone successfully learn and progress to the next level.

What we tried to balance that day was the willingness Chase initially showed in trying again to ski and the blatant fear developing on his face as we wrangled the skis, the rope, and positioning him for take off. By the time Dad, Mom, Bethany and I were ready, he had clearly changed his mind.

"I don't wanna do it!"
"I DON'T WANNA SKI!" said through tears

This was a moment I have experienced many a time with my boys.
Just how far do you push a kid? Do you force him to do it when you know that success is only moments away? OR do you realize that your child needs to trust you that you won't force him to do something against his will?

a fine line.

This photo shows a positive end result for us, what would you choose?

11 comments:

Anonymous said...

That a boy, Chase! Yes I have seen many a person learn to ski and everyone is different. The end results, if they make it or not, are always the same. They are glad they tried. You have heard the phrase "The thrill of victory and the agony of defeat" but I find "The fear of trying and sheer exhilaration of success" to be more accurate. Everyone is happy when someone at least trys. (Chelle) For some it is getting on a tube at 1 mph (Dewey) others just standing at the end of the dock by yourself (Joy) and others actually driving the speed boat all by yourself (Chelle) that give you this exhilaration. I couldn't be happier and more proud.

Anonymous said...

You are crazy, Jr. is my ticket out of here!!!!

Old School said...

just kidding, they are kids, and let them be kids, push a little to help them face their fears, but not too hard

Anonymous said...

So is that smile from success or from being told he didn't have to try any more?? Whatever it's from, you must have made the right choice! Love ya!

denise said...

Way to go Chase! We heard you did a great job but there wasn't anyone around to get a picture of you actually skiing! Maybe tomorrow when you try again someone can get a photo! We're proud of you. Not too many people ski anymore and it's great that your papa Hopkins is seeing to it that skiing is not a thing of the past. Too many wake boards and sea doos on the water these days. Maybe someday you can ski at Big Whitefish Lake too! Then we can watch you! Love you, XOXO Papa D and Grandma

Anonymous said...

I know that my makayla had difficulty trying to ski last year w/ uncle dave & aunt judy, but she did it and she is dying to go out to the cottage w/ the mastercraft agian, so she can do it again. (hint, hint). I have 2 kids, one will try anything, the other would rather sit @ home in his underwear. We have tried a few sports w/ him and have learned that you can not push him into anything.

I would have to say that it depends on the child and the situation.

Anonymous said...

Ashlyn saw these pictures and now has the desire to try it!

Thanks for being a brave example Chase!

Anonymous said...

I remember when Papa (Grandpa Fig) would hide in the boathouse because he didn't want to ski. One 90 degree day he said he needed to wait for a warmer day to try.

Now look at him. Maybe he should still wait for a 90 degree day!

Triplet Mom said...

I sat on shore and thought... Oh man, what is Chelle going to do? I don't know what I would have done. I don't like to push kids, but I definitely needed it as a child! You made the right choice!

Anonymous said...

this has become very boring

Anonymous said...

Great job skiing, Chase! I remember when my dad made me try ALL DAY and I was finally able to go around in a small circle. I was six years old then and have had lots of fun on water skis - you will, too! Love you!