I am aware that we are not the first family to lose a baby, but it can be awkward nonetheless for people who don't know what or if they should talk to me about it. Maybe they think I would rather not think or talk about our loss. To those I want to say... "have you met me?" "I started talking about my feelings when I was less than a year old and haven't stopped talking since!" (ha-ha, a little joke there) The truth is I will openly talk about our loss. It helps to be given the opportunity to share and hopefully throughout it all --glorify God. Pretty much everywhere I go now I have to kick the elephant out of the room, 'cuz who really wants him there anyway?
I once told my sister I would like a T-shirt that says:
"Don't feel awkward around me, I would love to talk with you and share my story"
" It's OK if I cry" "It's OK if I don't cry"
"I am still Chelle, just a changed Chelle, come over and let's share a smile or a tear"
" It's OK if I cry" "It's OK if I don't cry"
"I am still Chelle, just a changed Chelle, come over and let's share a smile or a tear"
I guess all that wouldn't fit on a T-shirt. Shoot.
Many people however are not afraid to address the awkwardness head on, and folks, Thank you for that. There is this wonderful gift called brokenhearted love that I am learning all about. We have felt this, and we have felt far less than it. If you would like to learn more, click the link. I couldn't have explained it better myself-- really I could not have-- she nails it.
2 comments:
Man . . . the blog you linked to really hit the nail on the head. We don't need people telling us that "it'll be OK", we need people telling us, "this is NOT OK . . . this really stinks . . . this is really hard . . . I'm so sorry!" - to be brokenhearted, not to FIX it!
I love your transparency and your ability to be vulnerable . . . I think of you almost every day . . . I know that the pain is just as real as it was a month ago . . . different, but just as real and ever-present.
You are dealing with it so gracefully . . . so beautifully. You're not allowing your grief to turn to bitterness (as I did).
Please know that you are still covered in prayer by me almost daily . . . this year will be a tough one . . . there will be lots of "dates" and "milestones" to get through. It will continue to be hard, but it will get easier with time. The ups and downs will slowly be less drastic and even out a bit.
I still grieve the loss of my little ones . . . I still remember specific dates . . . dates that very few people remember, but with time the pain lessens.
I love you, Chelle. You are a tremendous blessing to me! Thank you for sharing!
The note you want on a t-shirt reminds me of the sign I made when Gma Zeeff got married - two weeks after my surgery for breast cancer. My sign said "I'm doing fine, thank you - now can we talk about something else?" Everyone meant well, but . . . And I'm sure that's how it is with you - people think they are doing you a favor by not talking to you about your precious baby, but not so. We love you and continue to keep you all in our prayers. Love you!!
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