a snapshot of life these days

cottage vacations, baby crying, kids not listening to me, Pajamas all day,

...more to come.

Please Pray.

Please Pray for baby Tessa. She will meet her family today.
Pray for lung function and health and life.
Pray for hope, courage, strength for her parents, brothers, grandparents.

Thank you so much.

streamline my space !!

A year chock full of pregnancies,  sorting through grief,  husband working out of town,  general kid busyness and much more has not really lent itself to keeping up on keeping organized!

What is a self proclaimed, pack ratty procrastinator to do?

Call Amanda at Streamlined Spaces!
And that is what I did.

When you  (or me in this case) just can't seem to get started,  that is where Amanda lights the fire.
She is a professional organizer who loves to come to your home,  and working with you-- streamlines your spaces.  

Before our session she asked me to think about a space in my home that bothered me.   Somewhere that just doesn't seem to work well.   I knew immediately that our bathroom closet was desperately in need of  purging and reorganizing.   It had become a place to dump all things that I believed I had no other place for. 

And so we began.   If you are like me you may be worried that she may come in and just dump all of your precious "treasures".   Do not fear.   She allowed me the process of deciding what I needed to keep and what was really not necessary to have in the closet or at all any more.   She was able to gently help me decide when I was stuck.   Really,  did I need old beat up slippers and long expired laxatives?  NO!

Once we got rolling I was really enjoying myself and the end result was made much more sense and was attractive to the eye as well.

Here are the before and after pics...

Before

  

During

After!!

It was really fabulous to finally make some progress in my home that has been a bit neglected.
Amanda can do the same for you.  She is professional,  purposeful, and punctual.   This took less than two hours.

Here is her Facebook Page with all the details and information.

Click the photo below--

And there is more to come... I was so delighted that I had her return a few weeks later to  help me dig out of a messy desk situation.  

Please give her a call-- you won't be disappointed!

2 months + , say it ain't so!

Since I heart. heart.  HEART!  the newborn stage,  and generally the first year of our childrens lives-- each week that passes means our little one is getting older,  and farther away from that precious phase.
Call me weird.   I've been called worse.

I noticed the feeling when Naomi first grew out of the size 1 diapers.   Then once more when she graduated to size 2 diapers.  And this week when Amazon.com delivered a stash of Size 3.  Well,  forget it,  I just don't like it.

Watching her smile, giggle and try so hard to get her hand to mouth I realize that she is growing up so very quickly.  Faster than any of her siblings did.  I don't know why because I am sure that time is spinning by at exactly the same rate as when Chase was a newborn, but somehow the weeks are flying by.

So today,  instead of being sad about each milestone,  each increased diaper size,  I will celebrate it.
These things are worth celebrating --not being sad over. 

she looks skeptical, but I am certain she is 2 months old (actually nearly 3 months now)

Naomi is wearing a sticker on her onesie-- I have one for each of the first 12 months.

Find them here

Just wanted to share more spring beauty from April's garden.

More later about this very special rosebush.

"He has made everything beautiful in His time" Eccl 3:11

first day/last day. with 178 in between

They hate it,  but i LOVE it !!
the forced smiles,  the too close for comfort posing.
It seems to be a tradition to photograph my kids on the first and last day of school.  Last year,  I documented their school year with a before and after shot of their school shoes.   This year I'll get their precious faces.

First day of school August 30, 2010

fresh, shiny and new.

Last day of school  June 8, 2011 and lots of bed head.

(Juliet and Naomi were still asleep, thank goodness!)

I'm thankful and tearful today that a chapter has closed,  that the kids will move forward,  that we can celebrate a year of emotional lows and highs as a family.

Summer 2011.

Bring it.

Really. Thank you God,  for bringing it.

captured the moment

I received many precious keepsake gifts following the death of our unborn baby last spring.   One of those gifts was a charm from our friend Jamie.   I am sentimental and perhaps at times search for poignant moments, so you can imagine how my heart felt when I glanced down at Naomi while she was nursing and I noticed this:

Her tiny, chubby hand was gripping the necklace I was wearing round my neck.  I had to quickly grab my phone and angle it just right to snap this pic. 

Down on my knees thankful for these moments.

--if you'd like to buy this charm, find it here--

We Do, God Helping Us.

Mother's Day this year was a myriad of emotion and experience.

I was awaken at 5:15 by our sweet Naomi.  I suppose she was eager to get this special day started.  For that day she was to be baptized into the covenant.

On my mind at that early hour was Mother's Day 2010 , last year.    Oh,  how uneasy I was heading to God's house that beautiful spring Sunday.  Conflicted because I had much to be grateful for after all,  I was a mother 4 times over,  but grieving the still baby I had delivered 3 weeks prior.   It was the first Mother's Day I experienced with a heavenly baby.   How clearly I remember telling myself not to be so upset,  to be logical.

Don't let Mother's Day get to you,  I told myself... it's just a Hallmark holiday anyway. 

I survived that day, even got a few photos of it.   When last year's Mother's Day was through, I prayed that the next year,  my heart would have some healing and I could testify to God's work in my life.  

That was my prayer.  

In fact I even wrote about it here. 

God,  as He promises to do,  answered that prayer and I was given the opportunity on Mother's Day to share during the worship service.  Speaking honestly about the pain and joy our last year has seen,   how God is always good and His blessing is not based on my deserving or perception. 

I'm forever grateful for the chance to stand there,  with my husband and newborn daughter at my side,  and proclaim-- To God Alone be the Glory!  Thank you for bringing us this far!!

It was just one of those days where I realized how amazing this life can be.  How,  through the loss of April,  God can use me,  how He opened my eyes and heart to so much.  How it is only the beginning.

Well, like I mentioned at the start of this post.  Mother's Day was also Baptism day for Naomi.  I was determined to keep a calm attitude despite my nerves and the chaos of getting everyone out of the house.   Unlike any given Sunday,  I did NOT want the drive to church to be one of kids fighting,  me grumbling under my breath about how Dan waited so long to brush his teeth and surely that is why we were late.   Rather, I hoped for smooth and methodical Sunday morning preparation and did my best to facilitate that.   You would think I would do this everyday of my life,  but no.  Chaos generally reigns.

Thankfully,  everyone (including myself) was well behaved and we had a joyous time celebrating  with family and friends.

Naomi in the baptism dress worn by me, my sis Stacey, Joy, and Juliet

love, love, love the history in that gown!

First, 

do you confess Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior, accept the promises of God, and affirm the truth of the Christian faith which is proclaimed in the Bible and confessed in this church of Christ?

Second, 

do you believe that your children, though sinful by nature, are received by God in Christ as members of his covenant, and therefore ought to be baptized?

Third, 

do you promise, in reliance on the Holy Spirit and with the help of the Christian community, to do all in your power to instruct these children in the Christian faith and to lead them by your example into the life of Christian discipleship?

We do, God helping us.

Prayers for a Precious One

I'd like to ask those who follow this blog

(some of you I know, some I am quite certain I do not know)

to

please

pray

for an unborn baby.

The precious baby of dear friends.

click the bird button above to learn more of Baby Bird's story and how you can jointhe warriors of prayer as we wait in hope for the life of this baby.
Thank you so very much. 


If you would like to add this "pray for baby bird" button to your blog, copy and paste the code that you see here in my right sidebar.

one last hurrah. (a long lost blog post!)

This post was written pre-Naomi :)  I just discovered it in my blog drafts and for the sake of memory keeping,  thought I would still post it.

in the beginning of  March, we packed up the mini-van and mozied down to Schaumburg, Illinois to visit LegoLand Discovery Center.

Dan and I promoted it to the kids as one last family trip before the baby comes.    We would stay in a hotel,   eat at restaurants,  and swim in the pool!   They could hardly wait until the Friday we would leave.  The closer the weekend came,   the sicker and rounder I was becoming.    All hopped up on nasal spray and Zantac,  I soldiered through the rather close quarters of LegoLand and slithered into a swimsuit for a dip in the hotel pool.  

Fun family times were had by all.   I'd have to say my one of my favorite parts of the weekend was Thai food delivered to our hotel room!      There is nothing more fun that eating on a bed with 6 people watching Spongebob Squarepants...   or is there ? ? ?

A few pix from the experience...

 are we having fun yet?

 very typical

 

I was not allowed on the rides. 

Joy thought this was about the funniest thing she had ever seen!

April's Garden 2011

Last year we created a garden in the front of our home.
A memorial garden.

it was a productive activity,  and i really, really needed to do something with my time and anxious thoughts.

At the time (May) Dan suggested that we plant a good amount of spring bloomers because after all,  our baby passed away in April just as spring was budding and blooming.   The garden as it bloomed would remind us of April our 5th baby,  of God's faithfulness in our lives and ultimately bring us joy.

But, by the time we prepared the yard and put the finishing touches on the garden,  Spring had long passed.   We had to wait until Spring 2011 to see new growth and beautiful blooms.   It rather well represents the patience and waiting I had to learn this last year. 

Looking back I can still feel how impatient I was.   I wanted time to pass as quick as possible.  I wanted to rush the outcome.  In my mind one year after April's passing would be significant.  Significantly healing,  I had hoped.   God did reveal His plan this last year,  in powerful ways.
I like that the garden is so much more than just a collection of soil and vegetation.  It is a symbol.  Not just this Spring,  but every Spring season in the future. 

Today,  it is Spring 2011, one year later.   I snapped a few photos to share the progress and the beauty of the garden.

9 years. 3 years. 1 year.

April 15.

Nine years ago today, God gave unto Dan and I,  a precious son.   

Andrew. 

He came into this world with a bang, as he nearly entered the world in the back of our mini-van!  At nine years old he delights us with his energy,  and his unyielding devotion to his big brother.   He is easily brought to tears and is sensitive.   This sensitivity is an asset because it helps him to see when others are hurting or rejoicing.   He is the self proclaimed "best goalie on his soccer team" and still likes to sleep with his "dee-tee".  The perfect blend of innocence and confidence.   Drew, Dewey, Double D-- by whatever name we call you-- You are a gift!

With a grateful heart,  I celebrate you this day.

 _____________________________________________________________

3 years ago today,   God gave unto Dan and I,  a precious daughter.   

Juliet

She came into this world smoothly and beautifully.  I had to fight tooth and nail to talk Dan into having a 4th child.   He was done after three.  It didn't take long at all for that little gal to securely wrap Daddy around her finger.   At 3 years of age she is scrappy and animated.  All she needs is a few toys and her favorite TV show Max and Ruby for background noise and she will play the day away.   Her role has recently changed from the baby to big sis  so naturally we are still working out the kinks with that.   Buns,  Bunser, Babe-- by whatever name we call you-- You are a gift!!

With a joyful heart,  I celebrate you today.

_______________________________________________________________

1 year ago today,  God gave unto Dan and I,  our third daughter.  

April.  

She came into this world silent and still.   She was already with the One who allowed her conception and knew with Him she would remain.   At 1 year remembered,  we do not know her.  I can't share about her personality or what color were her eyes.   She didn't have the chance to earn her own nickname.   Even so,  she had weight in this world.   Physically speaking she was 3.7 oz.   But my pregnancy,  the short labor and the delivery of her changed our lives.   Our kids will carry her in their hearts always.  I have struggled and learned so much this last year.  I will continue to find meaning ,  not necessarily a neat and tidy explanation of why we could not keep her,  but God's hand in all the events that surrounded her conception and death. 
April, the baby we lost,  our daughter,  our 5th child--by whatever name we call you-- You are a gift!!

With a heavy heart I remember you this day.

3 weeks old-- surviving and thriving.

Just wanted to pop in and offer up a few photos and an update of our life with the 7 of us.

I've been working up a few blog posts in my mind that are yet to come.  It has been a whirlwind of emotions , hormones and thoughts that have passed through and over me the last  few weeks.   I just wouldn't be me if I didn't take some time to sort them out and "write" them down.   But for today,  just the basics.  

I took this photo on the first day home and thought it was funny because no one wanted to leave Naomi's side.  Or is it just that no one wanted to stop watching television?

Naomi was welcomed home by all of us on Friday March 25.  At the time I was glad to have the weekend to ease into what would become real life again on Monday morning. 

If only. 

If only real life had waited that long.  Real life started during my hospital stay as 3 of the kids had a stomach virus and you know what that means.    Bringing home our baby, meant bringing her home to a sick house.   Thankfully, she was immune.   Immune to that and a host of other things our chaotic household offers.    She has been very content to sleep, nurse and do all the wonderful things that newborns do.  I CAN'T GET ENOUGH OF THIS STAGE.  NEWBORNS ARE MY FAVORITE!!! 

We are trucking along getting used to another person in the house.  The kids are learning patience in a whole new way.  I am learning how to expand myself a little further to meet all of their needs.  I do feel that some days (and many overnights)  are just survived.   But now,  holding Naomi tight I feel a new and different sense of wonder and gratitude than I've ever felt before during these draining first few weeks.   These are huge gifts.  This busy life,  the ridiculous amount of backed up laundry,  yes, even the sleep deprivation is a gift.   THIS-- what I have longed for, for much of the last year and a half-- is here now.   I embrace it.  I cherish it.  I want to etch it all into my memory. 

 This last photo is how I found Juliet after one busy afternoon.   

I know how she feels.   At any given time I could fall asleep- half standing.  

A birth story, in photos.

I was privileged to have my sister-in-law of Katie DeBoer Photography come to photograph the birth of our baby.    Early in my pregnancy,  I was not sure  if I would want the private moments of the birth photographed.   I  had these thoughts because I was nervous.   I was nervous about an un-happy ending.   As much as I had hoped and continually tried to "give it to God"  I had a slow ember of fear that something could or might go terribly wrong.    But on the other hand,  I just KNEW I wanted the birth photographed. 

God's peace and the excitement that went with me into the hospital that early morning knocked out my fears and we lift our hearts in gratitude that we have our baby here with us today.   I am so thankful that Katie came to take pictures.  She is so talented and I will cherish the photographs for a lifetime.

Besides the fantastic ones already posted on Facebook,  here are some additional faves I picked. 
I think they tell this part of the story,  beautifully.

 (this photo is actually taken on my phone by Dan,  but we had to get that last belly pic.)

I couldn't wait to use my iPhone app. to time my contractions!  So exciting and amazing to think that when I had Chase 11 years ago,  we timed contractions the old fashioned way-- with a wall clock !  

 Signing on the dotted line...

Dan's typical method for helping labor progress.

It's GO (and push) time!!

Not to us, O LORD, not to us
       but to your name be the glory,
       because of your love and faithfulness. 

Psalm 115:1